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    everyday phrases take on a new spin when we're done translating what they mean
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word II word

Ever watch a commercial and wonder what their slogan means? Ever hear an old proverb or phrase and wonder where in the heck that came from? Well, never fear confused peoples, II stix is here to save the day!

Using advanced linguisa techniques and dialect breakdowns, the II stix super computers can dissect and interpret any phrase it hears. Check down below to find translations of some everyday sayings... you might be surprised!

And if there's something you hear everyday that's got you perplexed, represent your mind by submitting it to II stix. Our super computers are on the job 4 hours a day, 3 days a week! Hey, we didn't say they were perfect!

Represent

Original Phrase
Fox News: Fair and Balanced
Submitted by Tenjay

Real Meaning
Faux News: Unfair & Biased

II stix Meaning
We report fair & balanced news unless it involves gays, transsexuals, blacks, liberals, democrats, atheists, scientists, foreigners, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indian, Iranian, Russian, Eskimos, Californians, someone with intelligence, and aliens.

Original Phrase
"Flame On!"
-Human Torch-
Submitted by Michael Cho

Real Meaning
Let the flames ignite and engulf me so I may utilize my super human abilities.

II stix Meaning
Let the harassment of n00b begin.

Original Phrase
Give a hoot, don't pollute.
-Woodsy the Talking owl in government's 1980's era anti-litter campaign-
Submitted by Tenjay

Real Meaning
Show you care about the environment by not littering.

II stix Meaning
Please clean the jizz after bustin a nut.

Original Phrase
Snap into a Slim Jim, ooohh yeeeeah
-Macho Man Randy Savage-
Submitted by Micheal Cho

Real Meaning
Meat eating satisfies a primal urge and is therefore a more manly choice than other snack options. In short, eating Slim Jim = being a man.

II stix Meaning
Eat my meat. ooohh yeeeeah

Original Phrase
If its in the game, its in the game.
-EA Sports-
Submitted by Michael Cho

Real Meaning
EA aims to portray reality as best as the technology would allow in the games.

II stix Meaning
90% of our games suck... just like your life.

Original Phrase
I'm proud to be an American
-Lee Greenwood-
Submitted by Michael Cho

Real Meaning
I love my country.

II stix Meaning
Myself, rednecks, hicks, Republicans and little Hulkamaniacs are proud to be an American.

Original Phrase
Think Different.
-Apple Computer, Inc.-
Submitted by Tenjay

Real Meaning
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

II stix Meaning
Because we think outside the box, our products are vastly different from our competitors. They are slim, shiny, colorful, compact... um.... ahhh... um... have pretty Apple logo on it! Yeah, we are different!

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