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ask the ii stix gurus a question, get back three stupid answers. - Organized Booze
alcoholic recipes that will leave you face down. - Blowing Chunks
deady drinking games that will get people naked. - Word II Word
everyday phrases take on a new spin when we're done translating what they mean - Street Thoughts
we ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers
mental yum yums
We ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers. Okay... maybe all we've got is the capacity to rip off other people's slogans, but we do it with style damn it! Everyday us II stix goons will take time out of our busy schedule to answer your questions so you can sleep better at night. We know you'd only ask questions dear to your heart, and that's why we care.
Please remember that our answers make absolutely no sense at all, and are purely for entertainment value only. If you're going to start taking our advice, you're better off just jumping off a bridge.
Represent by submitting your answer to the Street Question.
What is your favorite fruit and why?
Submitted by Curious
Ki Big Cheese
Blueberries... cause you know darker the berry, sweeter the juice.
June Miss Thang
My favorite fruit has got to be watermelon. But it makes you have to pee a lot.
Jay Marketing Geek
Bananas: great for preventing cramps while playing sports... and best of all they're loaded with phallicky goodness!
My boyfriend always picks his nose. How can I get him to stop?
Submitted by Grossed Out, MA
Ki Big Cheese
Put some Bengay on his finger tips when he's sleeping. Next time he picks his nose, I'm sure he'll be in for a big surprise.
June Miss Thang
Every time you catch him picking his nose, smack his hand so he shoves his finger up there and gets a nosebleed. That should teach him.
Jay Marketing Geek
Maybe you can pick your nose too; it can be a bonding experience!
I have a problem with really dry skin, what should I do?
Submitted by Sophie
Ki Big Cheese
Moisturize your skin with Eucerin or Cetaphil. Use warm water and limit bath time so you don't remove too much oil from skin. Avoid harsh, drying soaps. Pat dry after shower. Use a humidifier. Choose fabrics that are kind to your skin like cotton and silk. No, it's not easy staying moist.
June Miss Thang
Eat more Omega 3s, and use lotion with cocoa or shea butter. Every day.
Jay Marketing Geek
I think you should look into hiring a lotion boy. Luckily, I am available for hire.
What do you think is the coolest job in the world?
Submitted by Mike
Ki Big Cheese
I always thought being the host of "Wild on E!" or "Three Sheets" would rock. What could be better then to get paid to travel the world and party.
June Miss Thang
Toss up between food critic and celebrity stylist.
Jay Marketing Geek
Lotion boy.
What is the best way to protect the environment without spending too much money or completely altering my lifestyle?
Submitted by Ms. Green
Ki Big Cheese
There are Carbon Footprint Calculator web sites that figure out how much damage you are causing and allow you to make necessary adjustments. I just figured out that I can definitely improve in the number of miles i drive every year.
June Miss Thang
It's tough in California, especially since we don't have a well-established pubic transportation system like New York. Try carpooling or taking the Metrolink where you can. Keep your speeding to a minimum as every 5 mph you go above 65, you use 2% more gas.
Mike Legal Assasin
Vote for Barack Obama. Uhm, seriously though, you can reduce your carbon footprint by walking to more places, public transit, which is cheaper than gas, unplugging devices before you leave the house, give up paper towels and use rags, or in the Korean way, old undershirts and underwear. Vote for Barack Obama.
I'm horny, what should I do?
Submitted by Hot and Bothered
Ki Big Cheese
Masturbation always works for me.
June Miss Thang
The museum of sex is a harmless (and educational!) way to let off some steam. Located on 5th and 27th.
Mike Legal Assasin
Well, The Emperor's Club is out of business. Thanks Client 9! Uhm... depends on what your standards are. If they are high, go to Manhattan, if they are low, Flushing, Queens.
I found a dollar today. What should I spend it on?
Submitted by Dooks
Ki Big Cheese
I'd save it. Matter of fact, if you can take $1 a day and invest that for about 30 years, you can walk away with pretty big change. If you prefer to spend it though, how bout a book?
June Miss Thang
I just got back from Ikea and they have fat free frozen yogurt cones for a dollar. Good for a hot day.
Mike Legal Assasin
2 Hot Apple Pies at McDonald's. Or tip a stripper.
