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  • Mental Yum Yums
    ask the ii stix gurus a question, get back three stupid answers.
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    alcoholic recipes that will leave you face down.
  • Blowing Chunks
    deady drinking games that will get people naked.
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    everyday phrases take on a new spin when we're done translating what they mean
  • Street Thoughts
    we ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers

mental yum yums

We ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers. Okay... maybe all we've got is the capacity to rip off other people's slogans, but we do it with style damn it! Everyday us II stix goons will take time out of our busy schedule to answer your questions so you can sleep better at night. We know you'd only ask questions dear to your heart, and that's why we care.

Please remember that our answers make absolutely no sense at all, and are purely for entertainment value only. If you're going to start taking our advice, you're better off just jumping off a bridge.

Represent by submitting your answer to the Street Question.

Represent

Why do trannies dress like skanks? Or do skanks dress like trannies?
Submitted by Michael Cho

KiKi Big Cheese
When you lack something, you have to compensate it somehow. Trannies compensate lack of femininity by being more skankier than skanks. And skanks... well... they are just stupid and have no taste.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Because trannies are always skanks, and skanks may or may not be trannies.

JayJay Marketing Geek
If you got it, flaunt it.

Why is a round pizza put in a square box?
Submitted by Amy

KiKi Big Cheese
It'd be kinda hard to deliver the pizza if pizza was put ON a square box.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Have you every tried making a round anything out of cardboard? Where would the hinge go? My IQ just dropped 10 points answering this question.

JayJay Marketing Geek
For the pizza to have enough room to move around just so that it has a chance to get ruined on the way over to the house.

How may ex-Saved By The Bell cast members are going to host dance shows? A.C. Slater was hosting America's Best Dance Crew and now, Jessie Spano has a show on Bravo. When will it stop? Pop and Lock with Mr. Belding? Krumping with Lisa Turtle? Erotic Danicng with Miss Bliss? When will it all end?!?
Submitted by Michael Cho

KiKi Big Cheese
Everyone know that greatness of lustrous career of actors in Holywood is not validated until you host some retarded reality TV shows. With that being said and knowing what an awesome actor Mr. Belding was, it will all come to an end when he hosts a show called White Boy Can Dance.

JuneJune Miss Thang
If you know all the names of the saved by the bell cast, you need to get out more instead of watching all these dance shows.

JayJay Marketing Geek
When screech does a porno...wait.

Why do FOBs exist?
Submitted by Me

KiKi Big Cheese
FOBs exist so you and I can exist. FOBs are our parents and I love them.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Someone needs to buy the world's supply of moth balls.

JayJay Marketing Geek
Fobs make your life easier.

What's more important, girth or length?
Submitted by Mimi

KiKi Big Cheese
From what I understand, most girls prefer girth. I'm sure you've heard of the phrase, "pencil dick". Well... that is not a compliment.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Are we talking about hot dogs? My favorite is New York style, like Nathan's. They tend to be a little longer and skinnier but they have that great snap when you bite into them. Also, NEVER ketchup, always mustard and kraut. Yum yum. We are talking about hot dogs, right?

JayJay Marketing Geek
I wouldn't mind both... but if that's not possible then definitely girth. I'd rather have a Hot Link or Bratwurst than a regular hot dog any day.

I have girlfriend that I love dearly but we fight constantly. Is love enough?
Submitted by Andrew

KiKi Big Cheese
No. You guys are better off being fuck buddies. All the benefits minus the drama. No one wants to live with someone who you fight with constantly.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Now THIS is an example of the previously submitted question: What does love is blind mean? This guy is so blinded by his love for this hobag that he probably can't see that she's most likely a whiny brat who is too needy to appreciate anything he ever does. Sounds like they deserve each other.

JayJay Marketing Geek
Is there a lot of make up sex? ...if so, that'd be good enough for me.

Is there really only one person out there for you?
Submitted by Hopeless Romantic

KiKi Big Cheese
Yes. There are over 6 billion people in the world and there's only ONE person for you. If you don't find this person, you will die as a lonely and miserable old person. You better start your search now and hope that this person doesn't live in African jungle where they don't have phone or email access.

JuneJune Miss Thang
If you're Lindsay Lohan, there are tons of people out there for you.

JayJay Marketing Geek
I'm sure there is but I probably scared them off.

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