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  • Mental Yum Yums
    ask the ii stix gurus a question, get back three stupid answers.
  • Organized Booze
    alcoholic recipes that will leave you face down.
  • Blowing Chunks
    deady drinking games that will get people naked.
  • Word II Word
    everyday phrases take on a new spin when we're done translating what they mean
  • Street Thoughts
    we ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers

mental yum yums

We ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers. Okay... maybe all we've got is the capacity to rip off other people's slogans, but we do it with style damn it! Everyday us II stix goons will take time out of our busy schedule to answer your questions so you can sleep better at night. We know you'd only ask questions dear to your heart, and that's why we care.

Please remember that our answers make absolutely no sense at all, and are purely for entertainment value only. If you're going to start taking our advice, you're better off just jumping off a bridge.

Represent by submitting your answer to the Street Question.

Represent

I'm horny, what should I do?
Submitted by Hot and Bothered

KiKi Big Cheese
Masturbation always works for me.

JuneJune Miss Thang
The museum of sex is a harmless (and educational!) way to let off some steam. Located on 5th and 27th.

Mike Legal Assasin
Well, The Emperor's Club is out of business. Thanks Client 9! Uhm... depends on what your standards are. If they are high, go to Manhattan, if they are low, Flushing, Queens.

I found a dollar today. What should I spend it on?
Submitted by Dooks

KiKi Big Cheese
I'd save it. Matter of fact, if you can take $1 a day and invest that for about 30 years, you can walk away with pretty big change. If you prefer to spend it though, how bout a book?

JuneJune Miss Thang
I just got back from Ikea and they have fat free frozen yogurt cones for a dollar. Good for a hot day.

Mike Legal Assasin
2 Hot Apple Pies at McDonald's. Or tip a stripper.

What is the best way to lose weight for summer?
Submitted by Sandra

KiKi Big Cheese
Hang out with fat friends so you look skinnier standing next to them.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Get up off your ass and away from the computer, and go for a walk, swim, or bike ride.

JayJay Marketing Geek
If you haven't lost the weight by summer, you might as well wear a mumu and gorge on BBQ. That's what I'm going to do!

Have you guys seen any good movies lately?
Submitted by Rob C.

KiKi Big Cheese
Cream Pie Org... errr... I mean Kung-Fu Panda! Um... yeah.

JuneJune Miss Thang
After watching Indiana Jones 4, I have lost all faith in movies... know of one to change my mind?

JayJay Marketing Geek
Not lately but I do want to see this.

Why doesn't anyone want you ask you guys any questions?
Submitted by Icy

KiKi Big Cheese
Most people have life beside internet. raspberry

JuneJune Miss Thang
Have you been reading the answers we've been giving?

JayJay Marketing Geek
I must have scared them off with my superior intellect.

Why do jeans get stiff?
Submitted by Icy

KiKi Big Cheese
Perhaps, your BF jizzed on them?

JuneJune Miss Thang
That's what happens when your jeans are too small and you can't stop staring at my breasts, you perv.

MikeMike Legal Assasin
1. Because you don't wash them enough.
2. Because you're fat. You can't squeeze 10 lbs of cottage cheese into a 5 lbs bag. Go run a lap or 5.

Why does Pepto Bismol make your poop darker?
Submitted by Kiggah

KiKi Big Cheese
Bismuth in the Pepto Bismol will turn everything black. Just look at the diagram below.
image

JuneJune Miss Thang
It's simple color theory. Just like yellow and blue make green, pepto and poop make... darker poop. Look it up if you don't believe me.

JayMike Legal Assasin
1. You look at poop way too much.
2. Its because your soul is dark.
3. Bismuth + sulfur in you gi tract = dark poop.

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