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mental yum yums

We ask stupid questions, we get stupid answers. Okay... maybe all we've got is the capacity to rip off other people's slogans, but we do it with style damn it! Everyday us II stix goons will take time out of our busy schedule to answer your questions so you can sleep better at night. We know you'd only ask questions dear to your heart, and that's why we care.

Please remember that our answers make absolutely no sense at all, and are purely for entertainment value only. If you're going to start taking our advice, you're better off just jumping off a bridge.

Represent by submitting your questions to us.


What are your favorite slang terms for the male and female anatomy?
Submitted by Joaquin Jang, San Francisco

KiKi Big Cheese
"Jimmy" for male and "Jenny" for female.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Jaj and Vaj, respectively.

JayJay Marketing Geek
Male anatomy: pipe Female anatomy: snatch

The fastest way to man/woman's heart is...

Submitted by Joaquin Jang, San Francisco

KiKi Big Cheese
To girls heart is ability for guy to show that he has his shit together (ie. career, family, finances, etc). To guys heart is lots of raunchy sex.

juneJune Miss Thang
For a guy, get nekkid. For a girl, remember what her name is after getting nekkid

JayJay Marketing Geek
Through the chest.

Hilary said she would be the first president to march for gay pride.

I think she's trying to come out of the closet.

If....say I was to ask her this at a press conference, and I document this.
And maybe I get hauled off by the Secret Service, can IIStix hold a
fund raiser for my bail?

Submitted by Michael Cho

KiKi Big Cheese
Yes, we'll have fund raiser to stitch your ass back together. I'm sure you'll need it after Hilary gets thru with you with her big strap on.

JuneJune Miss Thang
Wow, that would be awesome. We could have a bake sale, or a car wash, or a... wait, Hilary is a SHE?

JayJay Marketing Geek
I'm not sure they'd send your ass to jail. More like a nice resort like gitmo.

What is your favorite TV show?

Submitted by John Ho, Hayward CA

KiKi Big Cheese
Survivor Man. Nothing says quality TV like guy on the verge of death eating bugs and drinking his own urine.

JuneJune Miss Thang
I want to say something like law and order, or something from the history channel, because i think that's what intelligent grown ups should watch. But I get addicted to trash like I Love New York and Super Sweet Sixteen.

JayJay Marketing Geek
Vicar of Dibley because it's the funniest thing on pbs...and sadly enough, the only channel I get on TV.

I was at a bar the other night, and this girl gives me "the eye." I didn't know what to do. She just kept looking my way and smiling, but I was too scared to approach her. Eventually she split with her friends and all my friends told me how stupid I was. Did I do the right thing or should I have made a move?

Still Wondering, Boston MA

KiKi Big Cheese
I would be scared if anyone ever gave me their "eye". She didn't need it to see?

Miss Thang

The way I see it, guys can never win in that kind of situation. You have a classic 50/50 chance of either having your decision pay off, or totally blow up in your face. Let's say you did make a move, she could have been smiling at you because she was making fun of you with her friends, or because your fly was open. I use these examples because I've done it with my friends as well. on the other hand, maybe she really did like you, but didn't have the guts to go up to you (as most girls are) and so you really did lose out big... it's hard to say. I guess if you prefer to know the truth than keep wondering, you have to accept the chance that you could've had your dick hanging out your fly all night.

Marketing Geek

Yes, you made the wrong move. Now all you can do now is wack off to memories.

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