man… i just watched “the protector”, the tony jaa one, not the jackie chan one. ugh.. how awful. I liked ong bak and hoped that this movie would be as entertaining… but no. let’s run down the lowlights. SPOILERS
1. the movie had quentin tarentino’s name on it.
2. the movie had no non-subbed soundtrack. you had either thai/english or all english.
3. while a non-subbed soundtrack isn’t a requirement, the subtitling was screwed up. English subtitles only gave the thai parts the subtitled, but the English for the hearing impaired option only had subtitles for the english parts. So if you’re deaf, you can’t understand any of the chinese or thai parts that were left in.
4. and whoever mixed the final soundtrack decided to leave the volume of the dialoge at a 4 while cranking up the soundtrack to an 11. yes, an 11. I had the remote control in my hand the entire movie adjusting the volume.
5. while i love martial arts movies that have story lines and fight sequences like a video game (defeat the hordes, defeat the mini-bosses, defeat bowser), this movie’s penultimate scene was tony jaa beating up about 40 henchmen. I don’t have a problem with beating up henchmen like you’re in dynasty warriors, but it got extremely boring. Also, whoever was doing the sound effect must have had only 2 different sounds for bones breaking. That means you got to hear each sound 25 times.
6. one of the bad guys picks up a baby elephant by the hind leg and throws it.
7. tony jaa “blood sport moment of clarity” involves some CGI 3-D fighters with all the realism of Tekken, the first one.
8. ridiculous fight scene featuring guys on rollerblades wielding lightbulbs as weapons.
9. one of those embarassingly bad seduction scenes. that’s not sexy, that’s just awkward.
highlights
1. awesome fight scene featuring capoeira
2. the main villian was played by a transvestite and i didn’t realize it until the credits, i was impressed. She had a whip too and kept it in her pants.
3. some really interesting camera scenes and choreography. There were a few extended fight scenes with multiple participants and multiple locations and it was shot in one long take. Like 4-5 minutes of some guy with a steadycam following tony jaa.
4. one of the bad guys picks up a baby elephant by the hind leg and throws it.
I knew going into this movie that the reviews had been pretty mixed, which i think help to temper my expectations. Overall it was an above average movie. Sure there were some things in the movie that didn’t work for me, ie the monkey scene, the last 10 minutes of the movie, lead lined refridgerator but i think more things worked that didn’t. The acting was good and i think everyone made the most of a semi weak script. The movie starts off strong but then it tapers off. if you coming in expecting the movie to be as good as any of the previous three movies you’ll probably come out of it disappointed but i think the movie is still something fun to watch. They definitely played up the homages to the previous movies. I have a feeling this movie will be a bridge for Shia’s character to take over, which i hope doesn’t happen.
I knew going into this movie that the reviews had been pretty mixed, which i think help to temper my expectations. Overall it was an above average movie. Sure there were some things in the movie that didn’t work for me, ie the monkey scene, the last 10 minutes of the movie, lead lined refridgerator but i think more things worked that didn’t. The acting was good and i think everyone made the most of a semi weak script. The movie starts off strong but then it tapers off. if you coming in expecting the movie to be as good as any of the previous three movies you’ll probably come out of it disappointed but i think the movie is still something fun to watch. They definitely played up the homages to the previous movies. I have a feeling this movie will be a bridge for Shia’s character to take over, which i hope doesn’t happen.
wow wasabi, you hit it right on the head.
**WARNING: SPOILERS** (JERKS WHO DON’T WARN ABOUT SPOILERS SUCK CAMEL DICK)
For some reason, the supernatural “spin” just didn’t work here. Demons, crazed priests...dunno, even the indigenous natives that protected the temple came off silly.
Aliens. wow. I’m half-amused because of how ridiculous it was..but the build up WAS pretty neat.
and the nuclear explosion scenario I dug it for some reason. I’ve had multiple dreams about scenarios like that where I have to hide before something blows up, etc.
Watched Bucket List, Jumpers, and National Treasure: Book of Secrets on the plane back from Korea. Surprisingly I think my favorite was Bucket List. It tried to be touching and stuff but it made me think more than anything.
Appleseed Ex Machina was pretty decent, and the animation was excellent. I expected far worse for a straight to DVD title. One of the action sequences was too over-the-top with the slow mo - John Woo’s signature is just cheezy now.
The Notorious Bettie Page was rather slow and dull. Her life wasn’t all that interesting, most of the sordid parts were skimmed over. Gretchen Mol used to be cute. Her age is kinda starting to show, but her body’s still great.
