definitely.  i also want the after shot where they compare what was pulled out to a penny or quarter.

dear pseudo wounded boyfriend #3,

please note, that i only called you once. if it was urgent, i would’ve left a message. but i did not nor did i call multiple times. so why dearest, do you find yourself compelled to call me a) on my cell phone, b) at work c) send me a text message d) leave me a voicemail and then e) e-mail me, especially when you know i’m at work. and i may have other things on my mind. like. work.

you say you’re too proud to beg for my time. dear dear dear. things like this make me want to tell you to chill the eff out. i appreciate that you tried to get back in touch with me after seeing my missed call. but please, wipe a little bit of that neediness of your face, it’s unbecoming.

gk.

ps. make some new friends and drop the neglected little bird act.

dear co-worker homies,

chatter about potential job loss is
exponentially growing in the office,
i see and fully understand that.

but man the fcuk up, and go start looking
for a new job if you’re convinced you’re
out. please stop bugging me to talk about
it. i’m not a dick, but really, after you’ve
told me about your department woes
twice, i’m not the one who ultimately
decides if you stay of if you go. we still
have jobs now, so you shouldn’t let it
affect your workload.

please understand, i’m in the same boat,
but i’’ve chosen the ‘work my way through
this mess’ path, which may backfire on me,
but that’s the decision i made and i have
peace with it. hope we all come out unscathed.

good luck homies,
pez