Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Eating a Big Bowl of Shit

By: Mike Hoe

A typical scenario…

So it’s one of those days where you are starving, but you are too lazy to cook anything. Instead, you decide to take a peek in the pantry and find something fast, easy, and yummy to eat.

Now being Korean, we always have like three different types of cup of noodles in the pantry, which gives me a variety to choose from. The most common three I come across are Shin Cup, Yook Gae Jang (Sa bal myun), and Kimchee big bowl. Many times, I find myself in a crisis on which cup of noodles to make. That is why I’ve made this list for all of you who suffer the same.

Shin cup
It’s small, however probably the best tasting. It’s nice and spicy, and doesn’t have too many fake veggies or any of that other shit that screws with the noodles. However if you’re really hungry, don’t bother with this one. It’s extremely bite size. I only recommend it if you are looking for a mere snack in the day.

Yook Gae Jang
This one is a classic. The typical Korean instant noodles. The one with the green top you know. It is a hearty portion, loaded with plenty of sodium (enough to make your heart stop) and is nice and spicy. The taste is good, however not quite as yummy as the Shin Cup. Although Yook Gae Jang tends to have a lot of fake veggies and shit, it still is avoidable when you’re eating the noodles. I’d recommend you pick this if you’re moderately hungry, are running low on time, and want a decent tasting bowl of noodles.

Kimchee Big Bowl
This one sucks ass. I only come across eating this one if I am super hungry, and don’t feel like making or eating anything else. The soup is saltier than spicy, and the noodles are all fat and gross. The bowl however, is huge. Some even consider calling it a “bucket” of noodles. I don’t suggest you eat this one if you’re not desperately looking for food. It’s really gross. It has this fake block of “kimchee” which then with water magically appears in your soup. The veggies are over-abundant, and the soup is salty as hell. I personally don’t recommend anyone eat this one, just a waste of money and room in your stomach. Only eat it if you’re extremely hungry and have nothing else to eat.

So that is my ramen selection process. When the late night munchies come crawling to your stomach, it’s essential to know what your good old tummy is looking for. Whether a petite size of great tasting noodles, a moderate size of okay tasting noodles, or a big bowl of shit, you must be prepared. 

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