Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Clinique Equals Magnifique?

By: Debbie Hsieh

Lipstick, blush, concealer, eyeliner, eyeshadow. Most guys will say something like, “Yeah, it’s nice to look good, but natural beauty matters the most.” What do I say? “Stop feeding me that shit.” I actually believed it up to awhile ago, when one of my male friends constantly stressed natural beauty. “I don’t get it… painting your face! How does that make guys like girls more?” Immediately I was very happy and relived to hear a comment like that. It actually sounded real.

I don’t wear makeup. At all. Well, okay. I wear it for prom, formal events, etc… but not every day. Why? I don’t know, I guess it’s too difficult to wake up in the morning as it is. If I wanted to do a good makeup job, I’d probably have to wake up half an hour earlier. Maybe I don’t look as good as the girls that do, but at least I don’t surprise anyone who sees me lounging at home in my pajamas, watching television.

Now don’t think I’m a total slob or anything. I’m fairly low-maintenance, but not totally. I like wearing nice clothes and dying my hair, but putting stuff on my face and nails just didn’t really appeal to me. It doesn’t exactly have to do with that “see me as I really am” crap. Actually, I don’t think I look so much better that it’s worth the effort to wear any.

What do guys think? “I prefer none to a little. Not a lot.” Hmm… but what if she looks really good? “Oh… in that case, it’s good.” Do you think a girl who wears a lot of makeup is a slut? “Um… yes.”

Lots of guys initially tell me that out of the three types of girls (sluts, teases, and prudes), they’d prefer the sluts. Kind of sad to self-respecting women, huh? But then after thinking, they change their minds and say something like, “Well sluts are nice in bed. Teases are good to show off around friends, to make them know you had someone hot but not cheap, and prudes would probably make good wives and raise good kids. And they have that pureness just waiting to be corrupted.” Not exactly a better answer, but much more insightful. So what’s a guy’s ideal girl? One of those tiger-in-bed, cat-in-public, kitten-at-home type women. In other words, someone who can’t possibly exist.

I’m not saying makeup is a way to gauge someone’s innocence. It can be used to conceal the wearer’s true nature actually. A friend of mine, deemed as “such a NICE girl” almost all her life, finally felt the need to bust loose. She drags me to Clinique and buys makeup. Lots of it. And she wears it too. Yeah, she looks sleazy, but she also looks gorgeous. And yet, she’s still a good girl. Straight A’s, really shy, totally innocent. But guys come on to her all the time because they think they’ll get some. Figures.

And there’s always the girl who pretends she doesn’t wear any makeup. “Oh, I never wear makeup. I never learned how!” Umm… hon, there’s mascara clumps in your lashes. Why do people do this? Who knows… Maybe they want people to think they’re naturally gorgeous, because they look like “that” without any makeup. The guys probably buy it too.

But all in all, I think I’ve figured that guys don’t care about makeup. They just care whether a girl looks good on a normal basis. If she wears makeup most of the time, then she’ll look good most of the time.

And about that male friend of mine? I told him that I was really happy that he looked for natural beauty and all. The response I got? “Oh you know why I said I didn’t like makeup? I like to lick.”

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