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Tears of a Clown
Your funniest friend could also be your most depressed friend
We all have a marvelous circle of friends, each having that God-given spark in their personality that makes them “well” them! You have your macho guys (or gals, I’m an equal opportunist). You also have your bad boys or girls, and to provide an antithesis, you got your goody-two-shoes. I could go on and on about all these different folks, but you’re not here to read that kinda stuff.
It’s the humorous folks I’m here to talk about. Your funny guys. No need to elaborate much. They are your source of laughter for the day. They wear a smile on their face, and you know they got something that’ll knock you over in hilarity.
But when you’re grabbing your belly as it aches from laughter, it’s hard to even imagine what kind of life that person lives. You meet that person in school, in your place of worship, work, or wherever the heck you hang out. You meet them, chill, have a couple of laughs, and jet off leaving them to their own world. We usually don’t take time to think about what that guy is going through at all. We as society turn our heads to that depressed kid in black who listens to apocalyptic German metal. We turn our heads to the clicking and banging of guns as gangs murder each other in cold blood. But we never consider that kid who makes everyone laugh.
“What in the world are you babbling about?” you might be asking, ready to click that “Back” button on your web browser, but wait one second and hear me out. Here’s the point. The hilarious guy or girl in your group of friends might be the one that has the most pain. Granted, this ain’t as horrific as gangs and suicides, but it’s worth learning. This isn’t a theory, and I have no scientific evidence to back me up, but let me tell you a story. Oh, and when I gets to telling a story, I tell a LONG story.
There was this one kid I knew all my life. He never displayed any real unique talent. Being one of like four Asian kids at his elementary school, he usually kept to himself. He found his niche with the “reject” crowd, the scruffy kids who just didn’t cut it in the school children hierarchy. Church seemed like the only place of acceptance.
As he moved on to junior high, he got into the Youth Group of his church and met a new friend. This was probably this quiet kid’s first genuine, best friend. It was a hard adjustment to be with the teens of the church, but talking to his sole friend gave him healing solace. However, his best friend seemed better adjusted socially and was ambitious to “hang with the big boys.”
These older kids weren’t genuine Christians, being the typical gaggle of folks who talk of faith but don’t walk it. They were your thug-wannabes, and swiftly took the best friend under their wing. They knew though that they would have to separate this best friend from that quiet kid. That quiet kid that didn’t fit in their equation of cool. And so they harassed him, beat him, and called him names whenever he went in the church. They made him a joke to laugh at for the elementary children. The poor geek couldn’t walk one step without hearing someone laugh at him. He tried everything to appease these teen gods by hanging with them but was brutally rejected. It wasn’t long before his only friend followed suit and joined in their harassment.
Crushed, he went through three years of a mental hell until high school, when the older youth moved on as well as his so-called friend. He had lost his only place of acceptance, and so he changed his ways in school. He reached out to make friends with no avail, so he turned to humor. In it he found a crowd that didn’t laugh at him, but at his jokes. When the jokes were gone though, so was the crowd. Life was still turbulent.
“How do you know this guy so well?” you might ask. Here’s your answer. I’m that kid. Ever since the end of middle school, I began a fresh new start as the funny guy, but the birth of that identity came from three years of mental hell. I carried a great deal of pain, depression, and on rare occasions, suicide. Yet not a one person ever suspected my pain. I confided in one person who knew me for those three years, and they gave me the oddest look. “Really? You looked like you had it together.”
Today I’m a saved Christian, and I’ve put the past behind me. Humor for me is no longer a mask, but a significant part of what I am. After I was saved, I took time to observe secretly those hilarious guys or girls in their group of friends. When the crowd was there, they smiled and put on a spectacular performance, but when the crowds left, you wouldn’t believe the depressed expressions they wore. It’s as if someone had sucked their essence from them through a straw.
I have no idea if this story has any merit whatsoever, but give it some thought. If you find it interesting, then think about it. If you think that it’s B.S. (baloney stuffing), then ignore it. But do me one favor if you will. Next time you see that funny guy, glance back at him or her when you leave them alone.
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