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No Strings Attached
No relationship is a best relationship when it comes to sex
Sometimes the best part of a relationship is breaking up. Y’know what I’m sayin? Especially if the chick is still whooped on your ass. Pretty much then it’s a freak for all, with no commitment skin hittin night after night. It’s almost as if you died and went to heaven… well, without the unpleasanties of dying.
I went out with this one girl, let’s call her Debbie, a few years back. She had CWS, or what I like to call Classic Whoop Syndrome. I could pretty much tell her to lick my ass and she’d do it, all in the name of pleasing me. I’m sure some of you fellas have encountered CWS before, whether it’s that hopelessly in love chick or that nasty skank ho that has to hold on to whatever she got. When you got a girl with CWS, you’re the king of your castle.
So things started goin South between me and Debbie, mostly because Mr. Happy felt the need to explore new, virgin territory. There were a few arguments, a few fights, a lot of sneaky side action, and then pretty much shit was over. I cheated on her and she broke up with me, fair enough right? That left me open to knock up the girl next door, and gave her time to lick her wounds.and blah blah blah.
But wait, that ain’t the end of the story, it’s only the beginning.
Couple of days later Deb calls me up and we have a discussion. She goes on and on about how she misses me, how we can work things out, and how we were meant for each other. I on the other hand, found it distracting to my Nintendo game. Could’ve kicked my roommate’s ass if not for that phone call. But anyhow…
After like an hour of drama, she asks me to come over to talk. Now all guys should know that when an ex asks you to come over, its pretty much to chit the chat for like 10 minutes, and then get buck booty naked and fuck like animals. Like the evolution of man, so it was.
But the best thing about sleeping with an ex, is that there’s no commitment. She is willingly givin up the nappy in hope that you’ll miss the tightness of her vagina and realize that you need her for the rest of your life. Whatever! I see it as the perfect way to get yo nut on and split in the morning before coffee and a donut. And since she’s the one that invited you over… hey, it ain’t your fault that she was so promiscuous. You came over to work things out, but “old feelings” got in the way of rational thought. Snicker.
And so it continued, day after day and night after night. Free sex for the takin, with no strings attached. Hell, if she catches you mackin on another girl, give her the evil eye and remind her that the two of you aren’t going out anymore. You don’t have to be a dick about it, but you got your life to live, and she gotta realize that emotionally she ain’t a part of it anymore.
Somethin else I noticed, was that Deb got a whole lot freakier after we broke up. Like when we was going out, she always got uncomfortable when I stuck my tongue in the snatch. Post-break up I was eatin her like fast food. Conversely, she didn’t like it when I pulled out and fed her my love juices, but afterwards she’d give me head for like 10 minutes after bustin the nut. It’s almost a win-win situation.
One thing you gotta watch out for though, is her friends. She may be too blind to see what’s happenin, but her homegirls got the intelligence on you. You’ll pretty much have to put up with a lot of bad-mouthing, evil glances, and embarrassment in public places, but just do what I do and tell em to eat a dick. Even better, get em drunk and fuck their brains out. Not only will it probably fulfill a fantasy of yours, but then they can’t say shit anymore. Nothing shuts a girl up faster than a dick in her mouth.
So anyways, utopia lasted for about a month, when she finally got smart and figured out that things wasn’t goin anywhere. We had one last fuck, the best of the best, and pretty much it was over. She never really called me again, and we wouldn’t hang out anymore. I’d toss her the occasional head nod when I saw her around though, feelin that little tingle down below. I don’t think she had any regrets, and neither did I. Sex was good, company was good, fuck… it was all good. No relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever had.
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